[vikulenka]

Originally Posted by chris7

A young lad answers the doorbell, his Dad shouts out "who's that Son", its a bloke with a bald head came the reply, "tell him no thanks I already have one" shouted the Dad.

Taxi for Chris

Chris, I may have forgotten to respond to mehrens2112 post, which was really funny and clever, but yours I definitely am not dignifying with an answer.

[mehrens2112]

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance" says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push" he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not. It is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says the wife. "Cant you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing" replied the drunk.

[vikulenka]

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hollowed be thy drink.
I will be drunk,
At home as in the travern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangerovers.
For thine is the beer. he bitter and The lager
Forever and ever,
Barmen.

[mehrens2112]

Originally Posted by vikulenka

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hollowed be thy drink.
I will be drunk,
At home as in the travern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangerovers.
For thine is the beer. he bitter and The lager
Forever and ever,
Barmen.

That's good stuff

[Kaeli]

I just heard that Rosanne Barr got busted for drugs. That's right, they arrested her and asked her to lift up her skirt. Sure enough, underneath it -- they found 190 lbs. of crack!

[Dave C]

Originally Posted by Kaeli

I just heard that Rosanne Barr got busted for drugs. That's right, they arrested her and asked her to lift up her skirt. Sure enough, underneath it -- they found 190 lbs. of crack!

You're out of here

[Dazman]

One snowman says to another snowman, "Can you smell carrots ??"

[Damo]

Originally Posted by vikulenka

I heard a true story of a Harvard exam question "What is courage?" and a response "This is." receiving an A

I heard something similar; one question during a philosophy exam was "does this chair exist?" referring to a chair that the examiner placed at the front of the room. One student answered "What chair?" He/She got an A.
Their was also one (probably untrue but a good laugh non the less) about an Oxford of Cambridge student who requested cake and ale during the exam, as was the right in the old university by laws "Gentleman sitting examinations may request cake and ale". The Examiners got him the modern equivalent of MacDonald’s and cola. The examiners got their own back when three weeks later the student was finned £5.00 for not wearing a sword to the exam

[Dazman]

A masochist is someone who likes a cold shower in the morning...so he has a hot one !!!

[Damo]

Originally Posted by Dazman

A masochist is someone who likes a cold shower in the morning...so he has a hot one !!!

GROAN....